Words and picture are only related by the spectrum of technology upon which they both sit. The kinetescope in the picture was in the Lumiere Museum in Lyon which is a really fascinating place to visit. So much about the origins of the moving image, how they reeled film through a gun barrel to fire off images in quick succession to give the illusion of movement. And before they could solve the problem of projecting film to large numbers, they built these kinetescopes, where you placed your eyes downwards on a giant box, where a tiny screen projects the moving image.

But I wasn’t going to talk about that. I wanted to talk about weird Wifi network names because I discovered two this week. Firstly, and most disturbingly, somewhere in the vicinity of the Edinburgh Psychology Centre, I kid you not, is a network with the name of ‘Joseph Fritzl’s Dungeon’! Surely, there can’t be a bigger cry for help than that? Can there?

I think the staff of the Edinburgh Psychology Centre, to a man, need to start hammering on the doors of all their neighbours until they identify the owner of this network, collectively frogmarch him (or her… I guess… although to be fair we’ve got the law of averages on our side if we default to ‘him’) down to one of their meeting rooms for some compulsory, intensive therapy, don’t you think?

Then. Today, in front of my office, my phone picked up a network named ‘MI5 Surveillance van’ which made me really laugh. I am assuming that it is a joke and a result of having an office that is right in the heart of the Edinburgh Festival this year. Surely MI5 would be a bit more circumspect, or is the new spirit of openness and sharing upon us and MI5 are now wandering the streets in branded t-shirts and megaphones.

Still, if you want to make the world a safer place, MI5, you could begin by arresting all the mime artists clogging up Teviot before I personally kill them all. I’m beginning to wonder if the car that I may or may not have machine-gunned the other night in my dream might indeed have been full of them – in which case, I might consider it a public service.

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